Monday, August 30, 2010

Day 194/365


pic of the day :) 
see no evil~speak no evil~hear no evil...

smell no evil!!!

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i got my new lens 50mm :)


Sunday, August 29, 2010

Day 193/365

when i was a kid i was told (ALL the time) i was bullheaded - stubborn even... these days i prefer determined. when i was a kid i fell asleep with hamburger in my mouth. the story goes i was force fed a bit of my dinner. they could make me take a bite, but they couldn't get me to swallow it... i was two. for whatever reason, any time i was told "you can't" this only fueled my determination. words of encouragement. if i ever uttered "i can't" my dad would tell me "can't never could". true that! i was raised by a man that wanted sons... so the best compliment given was "not bad for a GIRL". that was always said with an endearing smile. he told me regularly, i was lucky i was born a girl... (because he probably would have killed me otherwise lol). my dad would often ask my older sister "why does she have to be like that?". my sister would say "she gets that from YOU". lol i laugh when i think about this, and cry because i miss him. i'm a fighter, i always have been. always up for the challenge at hand. its funny because it has never felt like a choice, its always just worked out that way. getting older i see the wisdom of my parents, the many lessons they tried to teach me... i had to pick my own path, walk the walk, fight the battles and win the wars on my own terms. i have eight more days until my 30's are behind me, a distant memory... to be honest i'm glad of that because my 30's have mostly sucked. it freaks me out to think i'll be forty, and honestly even typing that caused me to have heart palpitations! these last few years i have worked through a lot of my issues, gaining a level of peace and acceptance. i'm pretty sure i am ready for the next phase... i guess it doesn't really matter how ready i am, its gonna happen anyway. 

Illuminate vb 1: To supply or brighten with light: light up  2: To make clear: to bring to the fore  3: To decorate with designs or pictures in gold or colors
this is the word prompt for Sunday Creative [August 20- September 4]

this song plays in my head... 

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Day 192/365

I really struggled choosing my photo of the day... We had a family get together and took LOTS of photos. My Granny wanted a family portrait. I chose this shot to be my photo of the day because our family is full of love! The day could not have been more perfect...


My Granny full of sass =)


My family
(minus my younger sister and her girls)

Me-Syd-Chase-Max-Caz

ORIENT
this is the word prompt for The Sunday Creative- August [22-28] this one was tough for me... My boys seem to always give me a sense of direction. Never Eat Soggy Waffles (north south east west)

Friday, August 27, 2010

Day 191/365


cattails (typha) and fences... 
Happy Fence Friday

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Day 190/365

part of me is glad school is back in session, because this means max and me get to hang out :) we watched old popeye cartoons "toot toot" lol. we played with bubbles and drew pictures and laughed at julius. we ate supper, and danced in the living room. he is currently figuring out names of colors, and he likes when i count the markers. he has been giggling and when the giggle transforms into a belly laugh he will cover his mouth with one hand (unfortunately i have been unable to capture that on camera). the week has been a busy one, with little time and energy left over... but its all good.
"head" "one"

this is the look i get when he wants me to put down the camera and play

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Day 189/365

today @ lunch i fed my inner child... i wish i would have ordered for my inner tom-boy rather than a princess... way cooler toy in the happy meal for boys :) wth am i gonna do with a doll.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Monday, August 23, 2010

Day 187/365

Happy Bench Monday!! 
 (= main street edition =) 
ya ever have one of THOSE kind of Mondays? the kind your real grateful when its over... good food and good friends are just plain GOOD! The kimpossible and lina lou came to visit and made my monday not so mondayish :)

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Day 186/365

sunday biscuits 

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Day 185/365

Busy Bee... I can so relate!

Friday, August 20, 2010

Day 184/365

it is a happy fence friday.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Day 183/365

So Happy Its Thursday :) 
a walk in the park... 
daisy's and russian sage
(McFly)
(bug butt)

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Day 181/365

Petal-ing through the day...
getting closer and closer...

Monday, August 16, 2010

Day 180/365

My photo of the day... 0.1 sec  exposure f/4.5 aperture THEN while pressing the button moving the zoom :) I bought my first self help book (making my older sister proud because she is the QUEEN of self help books). It encouraged me to make a collage... so yesterday afternoon listening to a little of thisthis, and this (ohh and this) I paged through some old magazines. I intended on making a page of images of my dream house... So here is where things got interesting for me A list emerged... I promise I did not wear rubber gloves and use tweezers lol (I could not get the movie The Bodyguard w/ Kevin Costner out of my head...) Once I determined I was not THAT kind of crazy I smiled and thought to myself, "this is the beginning".

I tried a transparent shot inspired by the amazing J. and... well... hours later and frustrated to the point of cussing I am going to try another day... I have since decided I capture moments far better than creating them :) I think when I decide to go professional I will be known as "UNprofessional Photography" UP for short :)

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Day 179/365

ETHEREAL
(exceptionally delicate: airy, dainty) 
My shot of the day was a accident! I have always had a love/hate thing going when it comes to oopses :) I am still learning about photography... I have to admit I will take a shot and wonder "how did THAT happen" lol This is one of those times... My over exposed shot fits the word prompt for this weeks Sunday Creative. I don't think in my entire life ANYONE has called me dainty. Although I pride myself on being strong I have realized I am far more delicate than I care to admit. Its just one of THOSE things ;)
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I had a wonderful visit with the kimpossible. We had a Happy UN-Birthday celebration. We laughed, cried, ate, played beatles rock band.... it was good stuff :) She had asked me early summer to take pictures of her kids. Schedules never seemed to allow this to happen... Well I was able to get with her youngin's without her knowing... I made a happy unbirthday banner... I blind folded her and had her replace the banner with something else....
the photos I had taken of her kiddo's :). It was a real special moment when she took off the blindfold and her gift revealed :) 

She bought me an amazing book entitled Be. It has some heart warming quotes that I am sure I will be sharing :) I also received a cute little notebook that is soooooo ME! It says "I am fairly certain that given a cape and a nice tiara, I could save the world" (love) lastly she gave me a "note quote" that says "It is never too late to be what you might be" and a rock that says BELIEVE. It was a wonderful weekend :)

Day 178/365

I do believe it was a very Happy UN-Birthday!!!


Friday, August 13, 2010

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Day 176/365

Momma's come in all shapes and sizes :)

Day 175/365

Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Day 174/365

I have spent my lunch hour at the park lately. Maybe its because I know that the warm days are going to be gone soon... Summer has breezed right on by. I can't believe its already the 10th! 
Little White Trash Flowers.... no really these little white flowers were right by the trash can at the park! lol

Another view :)
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I have been pretty self absorbed... maybe self absorbed isn't the right phrase. I talked to my Granny a few months ago and told her that I was going through a mid life crisis... SHE said (from what I told her) I wasn't going through a crisis, I was going through a reflection period. So using her words, I have been self reflecting... I have a very analytical mind. I pay close attention to details that are often overlooked by others. This has always been a blessing and a curse... It is important to me things make sense... That being said, I have reached many conclusions. I have let go of the illusions of control (for the most part). I have identified some mistakes had to be made to reach the next level of growth. I am rearranging priorities, and enjoying the rewards of my hard work... I doubt I will ever really "change" but there is one thing for sure, I will continue to grow :) I have been experiencing RAW emotions and determine its good for my soul.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Day 173/365

My first Bench Monday.... 
 This is me, a last minute thought on my lunch break.  
This makes my feet look HUGE (my Chucks are only a 7). 
 LOL  
 it is what it is.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Day 172/365

sunday morning moon... photo taken @ 5:56 am while hanging out my bathroom window. 
it's fitting, my day has felt kinda backwards :)

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Day 171/365

The Infamous Bus
(or it could just be A bus)

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I read a blog recently about advice you would give to your younger self... Its funny how the universe sets things in your path helping you along in this game called life. P!nk wrote a song that relates to the current subject consuming my thoughts.... its all relative really.  If I were to give myself a talk it would be at 20! I would be pregnant with my youngest son, my oldest a toddler.

Twenty things I would say to my twenty year old self!

1.  Do NOT waste another minute worrying about EVERYTHING! As much as you would like to believe it does good, life happens and you can worry and plan and plan and worry heck you will worry about planning... stop it! It will give you lines on your forehead and between your brows and things are going to happen ANYWAY! and its okay :) it ALL works out I promise!

2.  You are AMAZING, don't sell your self short! You will touch more lives than you can possibly imagine. There will come a time when you will be completely and utterly shocked by this! The doubt you feel right now is only temporary... 

3.  Listen to your instincts they will NEVER steer you wrong. They will not always make sense to you, but this is a gift you have been given for a reason. Don't wait till your late thirties for this light bulb to come on!

4.  Write it all down! And pay special attention to where you keep your notebooks. I would even encourage you to get a safety deposit box... you will regret it otherwise. You have unique and creative ideas and all though some are REALLY out there, most of them are spectacular!

5. Ask for help! Your pride will get in the way of LOTS of things. It doesn't make you weak, it means your smart :) Not to mention people will be really upset with you later on for not giving them the opportunity to "pay you back"!

6.  Take your time! You hurry up with EVERYTHING... I know you are going to struggle with this, but getting into the habit of taking your time will help you enjoy the process SO much more.

7.  Failed relationships DOES NOT MEAN your like your dad! You are a lot like him, but you are not, nor will you ever be him. As much as you think the world of him, he is flawed (we all are and you know what? ITS OKAY!).

8.  Don't procrastinate so much! Your theory of putting things off cause you might get hit by a bus, is not a good mentality to have (besides you live through your thirties for hell sake!) When things come up, do it and be done with it. OH and DON'T put off playing or having fun! That needs to be at the top of the list too!

9.  Don't feel guilty for taking time for yourself. Your kids will understand and encourage you to do this later on. You have to recharge your battery (and NO power naps do NOT count!). There is nothing wrong with taking a long hot bath. There is nothing wrong with reading a book that YOU want to read, this does not mean your selfish. All it means is you are taking care of yourself.

10.  You are a wonderful mother. You raise amazing people! NEVER doubt how you discipline your children! Discipline means to teach. You will loose a lot of sleep over this one, remember #3!!! Go with your first thoughts on ANY matter, you waste a LOT of time mulling things over and you usually end up going with your first thoughts anyway! Keep all matches and lighters out of Chase's reach, and watch him CLOSE with the screw driver (any other tools for that matter)! Look under Caz's bed often, at one point he tries to hatch eggs out of the refrigerator. Check their pockets more often, and I would even encourage you to buy a box of rubber gloves and keep it by the washing machine! DO NOT REPLACE BROKEN TOYS! This is where we could really save LOTS of money! They just think that was their most favorite toy, and truly they will like something else soon enough, PROMISE. Take Caz driving more in the winter time, it will save on car insurance in the long run... When Chase blows out his 17 candles, hug him a little tighter for a little longer because you will want to kill him (MANY TIMES) over the next 12 months. Caz will loose his mind too at 17 for about 7 days and DO NOT LET HIM GO TO THE HOSPITAL! It is a waste of time and money and he is JUST FINE! Do everything else as you see fit, cause you really do a pretty amazing job :)

11.  Make a conscious effort to close your eyes and jump regularly. Your fearless approach needs to be nurtured and feed. You will miss it when it fades... and fight like hell to find it again.

12.  Don't worry about if it makes you look fat, if you like it and nothing is hanging out WEAR IT!!! Be comfortable in your own skin!! Here is the thing, you have ALWAYS thought you were fat,  I'm not going to even bother wasting my breath to tell you otherwise. Know this, you don't know what that is until you see 33 and then your eyes are OPEN!

13.  I want to encourage you to keep giving people the benefit of the doubt. Be smart about it and again remember #3, but what ever you do keep believing in the good in people.

14.  Ask for a GOOD camera for your birthday or christmas.

15.  Don't hold your feelings back, if your mad, be mad! If your happy, be happy. People in your life that don't get that will not be around long enough for it to matter, but how you feel matters... A LOT!

16.  Don't get married before telling your parents! It hurts their feelings. I know right now you don't believe in the whole thing but you do end up changing your mind.

17.  There is a box in the closet that has all the awards you have won since elementary school. It has your childhood journals and stories you have written. DON'T throw it away!! Big mistake!!! Make room for it.

18.  Keep all your drawings and your box of special things at daddy's. Better yet, give them to Grandma for safe keeping. And MAKE time to draw, you love it and your good at it!

19.  Don't sell your firebird or your acoustic guitar!

20.  Don't beat yourself up so much. Life is not black and white, its all shades of grey. No matter how hard you try, perfection is NOT obtainable.  I know you and some of this I'm telling you, your not buying even a little. You are probably stuck on #12... lol You know what, it doesn't even matter cause we make it out wiser than lots of people gave us credit for :)

Friday, August 6, 2010

Day 170/365

Julius and I went for a walk this morning... we walked the trail. 


Then he walked in the water while I walked around it :)
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what I've learned in my 30's

10.  I learned I don't bounce back quite like I used to... physically... emotionally... LITERALLY! I wonder if gravity has EVERYTHING to do with this revelation?!?!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Day 169/365

Little Max and I went on a County Fair Adventure... We made friends with some chickens, some pigs, a few calves, a pony and watched a dog named Flash do some awesome tricks with Frisbees! We shared a tasty corn dog and some "fry fries" (thanks Rae!!!) He can make the sounds of a roaster, and a pig... We laughed at all the MOOOOing going on between the cows and we met a friendly goat who nibbled on Max's hair (its a good thing his momma cut his curls cause that could have been bad) lol! Max currently has broken ears... he doesn't seem to hear his Mema when she tells him "no" or "stop"... I am pretty sure its a two year old thing lol ;)

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what I've learned in my 30's
9.  I learned there is a painful process a parent goes through between being a momma to children and being a momma to adults... I appreciate Chase, Syd and Caz's patience :)

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Day 168/365

I love old cars!!! 
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what I've learned in my 30's

8.  I learned what it was like to be a grandma... Before I blew out 38 candles, four months to the day my grandson was born. The whole experience has taken me to such an incredible place.... I say it all the time, but it is so true, it amazes me how much I can love another human being! Hearing Max's heart beat for the first time, watching him on the ultra sound monitor... I fell in love. I was given the opportunity to see him come into the world, and watch my son cut the umbilical cord.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Day 167/365

twinkle toes :)
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what I've learned in my 30's
7.  I learned you are given moments... If you are wise, you recognize and seize them! Watching my boys transform into men did not happen in a single moment... I am a proud momma, not because of all there successes, but how they have faced their trials and tribulations... They are my lifes work, they have inspired and challenged me. They keep me young, and make me old all at the same time! I have immense respect for them. Watching them pass milestones... words can not even begin to describe. Before I turned 37 I witnessed my oldest graduate, before I turned 39 it was my youngest's turn....  Yup, you are given moments, and I'm grateful I was wise :) 

Life happens rather your ready or not, and to be honest there were MANY times I said out loud "I'm not ready!!!". (thats okay though, right?)